Archive | July, 2013

::  i’m afeard that this wee little one might just be born a gummy bear

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dear little luchadors,

so…tell me

would the nacho libre music i heard wafting up from the basement through the register…

have anything at all to do with the bruised-and-swollen bridge of jack’s nose?

very sincerely,
me (your just-wonderin’ mama)

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dear wee little one,

i’ve just been thinking…and thinking…and thinking so much lately…

about how you…and each of your brothers and sisters…all came to be…

with just this all-of-a-sudden unmistakable nudge

that sometimes your daddy felt…

and sometimes i did…

and…with that little eian…your daddy and i both felt…through alex and emma and hannah all asking!

maybe just to be sure…that at 39…we wouldn’t doubt…

that we would still “know” Who it was that was doing the nudging

but with you…it was me who unmistakably felt it…

and it came just as suddenly…just as so unexpectedly

and it caused me to stop…and to whirl right straight ‘roundand to just shake my head!

and, oh, how i wrestled with it!

and i questioned it…

“but i’m 41!  and we were all done!  and we have more than our fair share…
these 8 already!”

and…“what would people say?”

and…“what would family say?”

but…all that while

i just couldn’t escape the thought of you

and then…i doubted it

“but what if this wasn’t a “nudge” at all?  what if this was just “getting older”…just being selfish…just truly not wanting to move on from this season of my life?”

and so on…

and on

buttrulyi just couldn’t shake the thought of you

and finallyi just had to stop…and just ask…

what if it was? 

what if this was just more of being 40…or selfishness…or just wanting to slow-up time?

wouldn’t that still be His purposestill be His using?  His means to bless uswith you?

and what of His purpose?  What of your purpose?

what if we said “no” for any or all of those reasons?

what of who you were to become someday?

if this was truly His nudgingtruly His planand you were meant

we would’ve said “no” to His always best gift!  His always best plan!

an alex…

or emma…

or hannah…

or claire…

or bits…

or jack…

or will…

or that little eian…

or you!

and that nudging was just so unmistakable…

that thought just so utterly unshakable

that thought of you

that overwhelming thought…

that if we had said “no, thank you”…just once…to any of those times that He nudged…

we would have missed out on so much…so many some ones!

every one such a gift!  every one with a purpose…


and what will it be?

what purpose?

such an overwhelming thought…

and i’m just so beyond gratefulfor His nudging nine times!

and for that inescapable…unshakeable…overwhelming thought

of you!

very sincerely,
me (your amazed-at-the-thought-of-you mama)

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::  even eian’s “cheep cheeps” know the best place to (always) find a snack ‘round here!


as i was toiling at my desk this morning…one sweet little chick “knocked” ever-so politely on the sliding glass door…

and when the door was slid open to greet her, they all three casually hopped right up and into the dining room…and hurried straight for the “leftovers” scattered under-and-all-around his chair!

those silly-smart little cheep cheeps!

– hannah’s image of “chick” (july 6, 2013)

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there is life here!

there’s a ring around the tub and the toilet bowl…messages in the inbox and out…laundry spilling over the sides of the bin…smiles and laughter…dishes stacked in the sink…and even more littering the counter…an expandable band ‘round my middle…sticky chubba paw prints (and what looks to be lip prints) on the sliding glass door…band aids and ointment and ice packs on hand…cheerios under the table…legos and coins and all-assortment of crumbs hiding inside of the couch…fits and tears…bicycles with flat tires and helmets with dents…clothes to pass down…a filled-up-one-minute-and-then-somehow-always-empty-the-next refrigerator…songs being played and songs being sung…debris of some sort or another needing to be sucked up off of the living room rug…bread crumbs sticked all over the stick of butter…and butter smooshed and smeared all over the sides of the dish…an every-single-stinkin’-time-i-turn-around wet towel in a heap on the bathroom floor…

and so on…


and…even ever-so-much morelife!

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::  last night…after our last kiss before sleep…my honey whispered into me, “you smell like flowers…”

and i blew my confession all breathy into his face, “that’s the gummy bears i just ate.”

but he insisted, “i don’t smell gummy bears…i smell flowers…”

and i just giggled right there in the dark…‘cause he’s just such a fibber

and is it any wonder that i love himwhen he always loves me like that!?!

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to whom it may concern,

just another quick little question

when your eyes start to blur a bit…at the words on a page…or the food on your plate…or the itty bitty pictures on those hand-held devices your kids hold up in front of your face…

how…exactly…do you shave your armpits?

i mean…all of those other things can be held back to (at least) your arm’s length!

but how are we supposed to see something we just can’t get any further away from our face?!?

do we just wear our glasses right into the shower?

i mean…wouldn’t they just fog right up and leave you right back where you started?

with a now-not-just-blurry-but-all-completely-fogged-up armpit?

i mean…hairs?  how can i possibly see individual hairs when my whole armpit is blurry?!?

my attempt this last time was “patchy”…at best

some all shaved off…some half-way through…and still some left entirely intact…

just taunting!

but i was only able to actually see this sad state of my pits after i’d already emerged from the shower…and shoved one right up close for inspection in the magnifying cosmetic mirror!

(oh, how i do hate this chore!)


my dilema has just left me bewildered…and wondering

if he’s (mostly) the one who appreciates my armpits all naked…

would it really be all that naughty

if i was to just offer up my shaver…along with my patchy-hairy pitsto him?

yeah…maybe just a bit…

does any one have any wisdom to share?

‘cause this girl’s just this blurry close to once-and-for-all throwing out her shaver…and keeping her arms now-and-forever-down-at-her-sides pinned!

very sincerely,


i did wage war on that whisker…and then it simply called in recruits!!!

oh, 40whatever shall i do with you!

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:: i just spotted a naked baby in our backyard…lounging in his daddy’s “special” chair

but i’m (mostly almost) sure that he wouldn’t mind…

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my sweet honey…

and my sweet friend

and now my sweet sister


keeping my jar of nummy gummies filled!

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on this day in…

~ 2012 ~

7-4-13 - 1

first fourth

7-4-13 - 2

three fourths

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