Tag Archives | him and me

#27

getting away for a bit

10-14-13 - henry

just him and me

– waiting our turn at wanda’s

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his side of our bed

my honey’s office is in grampa’s old “wood shop”…

down in the basement…in the same room where my honey fashioned our bed

his mother’s day gift to me when that boy o’ mine wasn’t yet all-the-way three…

but before that…his “office” was right in our room…right next to that bed

and i’m beginning to realize how much i miss that…

because every once in awhile…on one of those days…when i just couldn’t catch hold of my breath…i’d just sneak into our room and snuggle down on his side of our bed…

his side…‘cause it was the side right next to his desk…and ‘cause his pillow smells just exactly like his head!

and i mostly liked to just lie there “next” to him while he worked…and just stare at him for a bit…

‘cause i liked how he focused so hard on his tasks…and paused to ponder with a stroke through his beard…and sometimes smiled a meant-for-me smile straight ahead…

orespeciallyever-so-casually flexed the one-of-my-many-favorite-pieces-of-him forearm muscles nearest to me

‘cause he knows that they are…and that that would for sure coax a giggle out of me!

and i think he liked my staring times too…especially when i stared quietly…and not just distracted him with all of my “words”!

and then when my breath was almost all caught…i’d roll out of our bed…and stand right behind his chair…and wrap my arms around his neck…and stick my whole face right into the hairs on the top of his head…

‘cause it’s just one more of those many of my favorite pieces of him…that spot

‘cause it smells just like his pillow

only just fresh from his head!

and then i’d breathe him in…catching the last little bit of my breath…and then i’d give him a kiss on that spot…

and then i’d just move on

back to my day and whatever was “next”…

until the next time i found myself all out of breath

but now he’s not in there…he’s all that way downstairs

and i can still trudge…all that way down…to breath in his head…

but i find that it isn’t entirely the samewithout that time first spent on his side of our bed

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dear honey,

i love this day

this day that rolls around each year…and catches you up to me

when i don’t have to be anymore “older” than you!

9-12-13 - b - robert

happy birthday, baby!

i love you!

and i’m so glad…that if this getting older is such an inevitable thingi at least get to do it with you!

– my honey’s one-year picture…his 1 + 40!

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on this day in…

~ 1997 ~

8-28-13

island days

ohthat day

what i wouldn’t give to go back to that day…just for a bit

to plant myself on an obliging drift log and just watch those boys explore that island all over again…

those boysnow all grown

those “big” boy cousins…when they weren’t any bigger than these crazy “little” boy cousins are now…

them loving it there ever-as-much as i did when i was that big…when their papa and nana started taking we three

and then when we were all grown…papa and nana, we (married) three and all of our (so far) littles…making those end-of-summer treks so many memorable times…

and thenfor 21…him and me holing up there for that five glorious days

and now…another full circlethat boy o’ mine planning a trip back there again…

back to explore that island…and reminisce…“just him”

‘round and ‘round…circle after circle

this life always rolling on forward

always picking up speed the further it goes

and yet somehow…sometimes…one rolling-forward circle comes full ‘round…and dips back…even if just a bit…into the full circle just before it…

hills being rolledislands being exploredHis story being told!

this blessed dipping back in, all the while still moving forward

and me…just (ever-still) sometimes…wishing i could just circle…all the way back…and around once again!

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#17

his leaving these tucked here and there…

7-22-13

for me to just happen upon.

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8-1-13

by one!”

it’s been a whole week since my family headed out on a fabulous “almost 3 whole days and 2 sleeps!” at the annual campout with our gathering family

i rested behind…my sweet honey insisting on trekking back and forth…once just to check in on me…and twice just to sleep next to me!

and our littlest little tagged along on those sleeping treks…so he could “catch his breath” from all of the fun!

but i was especially missing that little guy on saturday…thinking about how much fun he must’ve been having getting to play “outside”…

all…daylong!

and i was so hoping that one of his older siblings might just catch a few pictures of him…of all of them…having their fun…

so i just spent that day fiddling around ‘round here…with just this and that…

just trying to keep from thinking too much

and at some point, i stopped and checked in on my messages…to see if their daddy had sent any new love notes to me

and then to my email…and on to that facebook…

and there on my “wall” was this sweet little pic…sent from just one of the sweetest of friends

just sitting on that wall waiting for me!

that little mr. mischief having himself so much fun!

and how could she have known that that was just what i’d wanted?

just what i’d needed

at that very momenton that very day!?!

and i’ve just been so overwhelmed…again and again

that so many…so often…would seek to lessen this sting just a bit…simply by loving on us

and that picture just made me smile…

and then just burst into tears

the very same thing i seem to be doing a lot as of late…anytime anybody does something…or says something…

just anything kind!

something that just seems to keep happening again and again…and over and over…these days!

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dear wee little one,

it’s really quite odd when you stop to think on it…

how this life is just truly a collection of moments…

like pearls on a string…all strung one next to another…

all the same size…all the same “length”…

and yet

how odd that some pass just so…unnoticed

and others stand out as what…must’vecould only have…been a whole day…

one moment i’m sitting with your daddy…just waiting with others all in one room…the moments just ticking by…

and then in another i’m lying in a room dimly lit and all quiet…your daddy’s hand resting on and giving my foot a squeeze now and then…with a friendly technician sitting next to me…her magic wand poised just inches away from my middle…

and then in the next…she simply flips on a switch…

and rests the wand down on me…

and there in that moment…i look up at a screen…wantingso badly…to see nothing but you…

and in that very momentsee only your absence

just me…

empty

no little you

and then…all of a sudden…the moments seem to be racing by in a hurry…

and she’s saying something kind…and even placing a gentle touch on my knee…

and i’m pushing back the tears with the only smile i can muster…

and then somehow…in the very next moment…your daddy is ushering me out…into the sun…and the heat…

and…in what was truly only a handful of moments…i’m somehow right back in my seat in the lot…

and wondering how that could possibly be

just some of the most fleeting…and stretching-on-forever…moments i’ve ever had in the whole of my strung-up moments put all together…

in the whole of my life

just that one particular handful…on this all-of-a-sudden particular spot on my string…

and the whole of my life as i knew it…is all-of-a-sudden

just

changed

and then…there was the post office to swing by just for a moment on our way home…and hungry tummies when the moments had crept up towards 5:00…and potty breaks, and teeth-brushing and just-one-last drink in the moments right before bed…

and just life

life…and its moments…just keep ticking on by…

and how very odd that is…that life just seems to go on

some of its moments so insignificant…so un-noteworthy…

and some so…utterly…seared into my brain…

like the moment i pushed my way through that heavy darkroom door to find your daddy standing right there in front of me…

the moment i turned around to find him down on one knee…

the moment he kissed me right there at the altar for (what seemed like) all of the whole world to see…

the moment that each of your brothers and sisters were handed to me…

the moment i saw that plus sign on that test…its saying “yes!”…you were meant to be

and that moment i looked up to find youand saw you were already gone

that is a moment i will never forget

never

no matter how many moments i’m still given…

no matter how many more are left still on my string

that is one i’ll remember…for as long as i’m living

you…i’ll remember…my 9th little someone

you…i’ll so long and look forward to seeing…when i finally reach the tail end of my string…

very sincerely,
me (your missing-you-so-terribly-already mama)

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::  my honey brought me pork noodle soup tonight…‘cause it just sounded too good…

and when i cracked open my cookie…my fortune read…

“you have a charming way with words and should write a book.”

and i showed it to him…and he smiled…and said something about “telling me so”…and something (or other) about God and His “providence”…

and then i cracked open his‘cause it’s tradition that i always eat both…and it read…

“you have a charming way with words and should write a book.”

and i showed it to him…and he just laughed

and how i did too!

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::  last night…after our last kiss before sleep…my honey whispered into me, “you smell like flowers…”

and i blew my confession all breathy into his face, “that’s the gummy bears i just ate.”

but he insisted, “i don’t smell gummy bears…i smell flowers…”

and i just giggled right there in the dark…‘cause he’s just such a fibber

and is it any wonder that i love himwhen he always loves me like that!?!

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to whom it may concern,

just another quick little question

when your eyes start to blur a bit…at the words on a page…or the food on your plate…or the itty bitty pictures on those hand-held devices your kids hold up in front of your face…

how…exactly…do you shave your armpits?

i mean…all of those other things can be held back to (at least) your arm’s length!

but how are we supposed to see something we just can’t get any further away from our face?!?

do we just wear our glasses right into the shower?

i mean…wouldn’t they just fog right up and leave you right back where you started?

with a now-not-just-blurry-but-all-completely-fogged-up armpit?

i mean…hairs?  how can i possibly see individual hairs when my whole armpit is blurry?!?

my attempt this last time was “patchy”…at best

some all shaved off…some half-way through…and still some left entirely intact…

just taunting!

but i was only able to actually see this sad state of my pits after i’d already emerged from the shower…and shoved one right up close for inspection in the magnifying cosmetic mirror!

(oh, how i do hate this chore!)

so

my dilema has just left me bewildered…and wondering

if he’s (mostly) the one who appreciates my armpits all naked…

would it really be all that naughty

if i was to just offer up my shaver…along with my patchy-hairy pitsto him?

yeah…maybe just a bit…

does any one have any wisdom to share?

‘cause this girl’s just this blurry close to once-and-for-all throwing out her shaver…and keeping her arms now-and-forever-down-at-her-sides pinned!

very sincerely,
me

p.s.

i did wage war on that whisker…and then it simply called in recruits!!!

oh, 40whatever shall i do with you!

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