Archive | August, 2013

stuck

lately, i sit down here…hoping to loose some of these too-many-swirling words inside of my head…

and i rest my fingers down on these keys…and just stare at this blank space

and i wonder…if i could somehow just start tapping away…maybe some of these words would just somehow fall out of their tips

right out of my head, through these fingers and onto this space

but it just doesn’t seem to be working that way

these fingers of mine…try as hard as they might…just can’t seem to get these words to drain out…

and so they just swirl…somehow just so utterlystuck

and my fingers just rest here on these keys…

and i just wait

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on this day in…

~ 1997 ~

8-28-13

island days

ohthat day

what i wouldn’t give to go back to that day…just for a bit

to plant myself on an obliging drift log and just watch those boys explore that island all over again…

those boysnow all grown

those “big” boy cousins…when they weren’t any bigger than these crazy “little” boy cousins are now…

them loving it there ever-as-much as i did when i was that big…when their papa and nana started taking we three

and then when we were all grown…papa and nana, we (married) three and all of our (so far) littles…making those end-of-summer treks so many memorable times…

and thenfor 21…him and me holing up there for that five glorious days

and now…another full circlethat boy o’ mine planning a trip back there again…

back to explore that island…and reminisce…“just him”

‘round and ‘round…circle after circle

this life always rolling on forward

always picking up speed the further it goes

and yet somehow…sometimes…one rolling-forward circle comes full ‘round…and dips back…even if just a bit…into the full circle just before it…

hills being rolledislands being exploredHis story being told!

this blessed dipping back in, all the while still moving forward

and me…just (ever-still) sometimes…wishing i could just circle…all the way back…and around once again!

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#20

watching them roll down the “hill”…

that…once upon a (long-ago) timegrammy rolled…

and that…once upon a (not-too-long-ago) time…their daddy rolled…

and that now…all our kids…

8-26-13

these crazy boys and their crazy cousins

get to roll down any ol’ time!

and just getting to spend it…this day…

just…together

their sweet mama and me

– thanks to my honey for quick-snapping this image between their rolls down the hill!

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::  there’s just so much growin’ goin’ on around here…

celebrating bitsy last week

8-22-13 - 1

and now him yesterday

and then…

over the next five months, even more turning overs over here!  each of those months there’ll be one…or sometimes even two…to celebrate!

and then…

come february…a birth day we’ll wish we were celebrating

and i just always seem to be asking…why this always having to grow?

why this everything always having to go by just…sofast?!?

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on this day in…

~ 2012 ~

8-22-13

1 + 1

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keepsakes

each of our littles has a box of “treasures”…special little things of theirs that i’ve set aside for them…

we call them their “keepsake” boxes…

although, at some point along the way, one of the littles mispronounced it “keep-safe”…and it stuckbecause it seemed even more appropriate that way!

there’s blankies…and locks of hair…and (even) a lost tooth housed safely inside each…

and my intention is to send them along with each of them someday…but for now…they’re just (mostly) for me…

for when they creep up on a milestone birthday…or come home with keys to a car…for me to sneak down to the basement and open and remember…to hold in my hands the little dresses or little shoes that they somehow…once upon a time…used to fit into…

and when i went to tidy the top drawer of my desk last night…i came across that test i’d placed there to “keep safe” for a time…until a box could be started for our wee little one…

and i realized

they won’t need one

that that test i held in my hand was the only treasure i have…

the only hold-in-my-hand reminder…that even though for ever-so briefly…our wee little one…was

that they were meant to be

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#19

lunching…

8-19-13

with him.

and getting little “whiffs” of his cologne all the rest of this day…

little hugs from him leftover on me

– my grandad with we three…on my 3rd birthday!  (april 16, 1975)

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::  she’s getting sleepy

8-16-13

won’t be long now before these littles are dancing in her leaves

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on this day in…

~ 2004 ~

8-15-13

1 + 9

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#18

coming home to happy kids

that boy o’ ours having taken them on an ice cream run…

and to the park…

and sticking in a movie…

and letting them “camp” in this

8-12-13

for that whole two sleeps!

that boyhe parents these littles better than him and me

– hannah’s image

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