Tag Archives | him and me


waking to the sound of him outside chopping the kindling for this morning’s fire…

i’m gonna miss that sound when the weather turns warmer

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::  it’s all ‘cause he wants to be a good example for me…on how to apply the Truth we heard today on “sabbath rest”…that he’s lying here next to me in grampa’s old chair with all those snores escaping his lips!

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life on my sill

i turned my back on my kitchen sink and headed off to bed tonight…even the minimal in me grinning at the cluttered state of my sill…

there’s a little purple saintpaulia…with two sweet little blooms…that grammy brought to cheer her mama,  gramma mary, when she was living out her last few days here.  and it just stayed on…thankfully…the thoughts of them it continually conjures up keeping me company while my hands are so often in the sink…

and there’s four, plump, red-ripe tomatoes that somehow found their way there from our always-generous mister paul and miss mary across the street…

and there’s a little, white bottle full of melatonin…that my midwife knew would help my pregnant brain settle down to sleep…

and there’s (even) a bloody tooth that was yanked out by that determined ten-year-old right before she headed off to dream…

and there’s a curiously-angular rock that grampy and that emma-girlso very little at the time…painted during one of our visits with them.  his sweet little red heart in the middle…her splotches of color o’er the rest…

and there’s a tiny rectangle of wood framing one of my most favorite pictures of him…when we were both still so young…and relishing in one of those most-memorable days on “our” island

and there’s a dainty, little silk sunflower that three-year-old jack found and presented to me when we were very first settling in here…“picked” for me from out of the overabundance of gramma mary’s craft supplies still left over down in the basement…

and it should probably all be tidied tomorrow…especially that tooth!

but for tonight…it’s just an utterly lovely reminder…againthat there is life here!

so much life having been lived…being livedright here!

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there were lots o’ reasons today, actually…

but especially at the very end of it…when him and me were finally all tucked into our bed

with me turned in close and one-eye-peaking over his shoulder at the book he was reading a bit before sleep…

and after interrupting…maybe more than the once…i inquired who’d authored his book…

and then…again…i observed, “he likes hyphens…”

to which…his eyes never leaving the page…he casually replied, “almost as much as you like your ellipsis…”

and then i quickly argued something about how i just write the same way that i talk!  that i’m just never done talking…or thinking

and he countered…just as swiftly…that “yes”, i never do seem to run out of words…

and that sometimes

all he hears is, “…”!

and that made me smile…and laugh…a lot!

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confessing to my honey at the end of this day…“i don’t have a monday’s reason…”

me ashamed to admitnot even one

and him encouraging, “yes, you do…”

and then to my challenging “yeah?”

his simple “look around you

and…oh, yes

i did it again! 

i forgot…

and how is that always so easy for me to do?

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getting to go on a date with my honey…even on a monday!

and doubling up with dear friends!

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dear honey,

i saw an elderly couple walking the trail today…

and they were a little bent…and moving a little slow…

and he had one hand held fast to his caneand the other hand held fast to hers

and i couldn’t help but hope that’ll be you and me someday…

very sincerely,

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that littlest little working so hard at our knob…until he finally worked it free

and him and blankie circling ‘round to my side of our bed

and me pulling him up…and then down into the valley between him and me

and him settling down between us…his little head pressed tight to my chest…

and the three of us content to just take our time waking up into this day

that littlest littlesnuggling!

just him…and him…and me!

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dear honey,

doesn’t it seem to be happening more and more often?  this…you and me…always having to fight back the tears?

when we both had to finally…actually once and for all…step out of my monday’s reason and into that day…both having to tell the other to “stop it!”…to stop making the other have to fight back the tears!

and i know that we tease that it just must be our age…

but i know that we know that it’s truly just a marveling and a wondering…a truly just grasping more and more His immeasurable grace!

and it just seems like it just keeps getting more and more obvious…we keep seeing and talking about and coming back to this same topic more and more…and more…these days!

and it just always seems to make us have more and more…and more…of those tears!

this grace dumped out all over us all our whole lives…but especially…most significantly…over these past 22 years…

His loving us so much that He would want for us to know the joy of truly loving somebody…some body else


the way that He loves us!

at times, you and i have been just so…ugly…

this marriage (at times) just so hard

but it has always only ever been what we’ve chosen it to be!

learning this hard truth that “happy” doesn’t come…you for me

but me for you!

and not when i’m loving you only in the measure that you love me…or even loving you the way i would want to be loved!

but loving you the way that He loves me!

Him loving me first before i ever loved Him!  me for you…first!

loving you when you love me like you did that morning…but loving you even more when you’re bein’ your most un-lovely!  when you’re even bein’ a jerk!

‘cause that’s the way that He loves me!

and how grateful i am that He doesn’t love me only when i am deserving!  only when i love Him the way He deserves to be loved!

with the whole and every single part of me!

but even when i am being the most truly me…the unloveliestthe most ugliest me i’ve ever been seen!

and it’s through learning to love one another at our most ugly that we truly learn to love the way that He does!

when i can look at you and love you…no matter what…i’m loving you the way you deserve to be loved!

the way that will truly make me most happy!

and truly

why would i expect from you any more than i’ve expected from me?  and haven’t i always been…at one time or another…just as guilty of any ol’ reason that i’ve ever been fed up with you?

aren’t i just as guilty as you’ve ever been?

and when He looks at me…doesn’t He see His Son?

and when i look at you…shouldn’t i want to too?  shouldn’t i want to love on you as if i were loving right on Him?!?

and why has this always been so hard?  why has this taken so long to learn?  why this still failing at it so much of the time?

why is it we can still be just as unlovely…just as ugly…as we ever have been?

and how is it…that despite all of that…there’s this lovely revelation that we love each other even more and more…ever deeper and deeper

so much so that it just brings on those tears?


that just must be the grace…that’s just got to be His grace made most perfect when we are most perfectly, utterly at our most weak…

His taking all of our failed attempts…our ugliest parts of our marriage…and using them to actually make this marriage one of His best things!

this wrestling and tugging and pulling against has only served to knit our hearts most together as these years have passed on…

this “flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone”

this utter oneness

this knowing that it’s only by His grace…His being lavish with us!

and you wanna know what? 

i would much rather have wrestled and tugged and pushed my way through this past 22 years with you…than just walk right on through them with any some body else!

‘cause i just don’t think that marriage like this just happens…this joy that brings tears…without this having to truly work at loving on somebody else…like only He does!

very sincerely,
your me

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after we’d sat and snuggled and talked for awhile…and the sun had finally dipped down into the ocean…i asked, “can we take a quick picture of us?”

and he readily agreed…and started to take some

only…he just loves to tease with me

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…and he took them when i wasn’t quite ready…

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…or when i wasn’t quite ready…

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…or when i still wasn’t quite ready…

or to (maybe) practice his “smiles”?

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or…i just truly don’t know what!

and he was just cracking himself up23 whole times!

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so i just gave up!  and just joined him in his fun!

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‘cause he just makes me laugh…like no one else does

and i just truly can’t imagine spending this last 22 years with any one else…

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but him!

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