dear donut day,
maybe i’m outgrowing you…
very sincerely,
me
Tag Archives | dear…
dear mom,
so, this is day three of me on these head-meds…
and as you well know…it gets pretty interesting around here with my brain on these “drugs”…
this morning still in bed, i was telling my honey very important (to me) things…and relying on him to fill in the words my brain couldn’t land on with (for example) a simple…“it starts with a “p”…”
and then…for some unknown reason…when i hollered out…“fourteen!”…the number of the day from an old “sesame street”…he just rolled right out of our bed with a…“that’s the drugs talking!”
and so i laid there…all alone and pathetic…pondering all the funky things that i’ve done…but mostly said…while taking these things!
why, just yesterday…i was having to explain myself to a dear idaho friend…
about how this drugged brain had told me to wish her a “happy birthday!” on tuesday…so i just sat right down and started to write her a note. but then one small part of my brain (maybe one small sliver not all foggy) made me glance up at our calendar…and even lock on to the date. which nudged the rest of my brain even to question…“it’s april 30? gayle is a birthday-month buddy with me? but i thought her day was may 3rd?!?”
and then i still proceeded to write…and then send her…that note!
and the next morning, as we were still rubbing the blur from our eyes…j. said, “it’s may day!”
and i just shot straight up…“it’s may first! but i think i said “happy birthday” to gayle yesterday!”
and that’s when he said, “oh, honey…you can blame that on the drugs!”
and i told her about the time…after grampa richard had been in heaven for well over a year…i looked right at my father-in-law and asked, “how’s grampa doing?”
and when he just stared at me all-in-shock…i just looked over at j. in confusion…and he just said, “honey…your drugs…”
and…of course…i had to tell her the…classic…“this brain’s on drugs” time…
have i ever told you?
about how…that time 4 years ago now…when niecy and i were looking through pictures of little you still living in frisco. and she was telling me all that she knew about how sick you were so often your whole first four years…
and we were especially drawn to that sad little picture of you turning three…
6-year-old auntie standing next to you lying in bed under covers…all utterly rosy-cheeked with fever…so frail with pneumonia…your little birthday cake perched right on your lap…the three candles still smoking from having been (probably with auntie’s help) just blown out…
such a sad little picture of sweet little you!
and i was so engrossed in her stories…so utterly mesmerized by that photo…that i just looked at her and asked…
“did she survive?”
and she just looked at me…
and said…
“our mother?”
oh my…
but i’m so glad that you did! survive…
and i know i will too! this pain will subside…
it always…eventually…does!
and in the mean time…these drugs sure do help me to cope!
but i think i might just stick to myself today…just to be safe!
this brain…on these drugs…just can not be trusted!
there’s just absolutely no telling what else it might make me to do…
or heaven help me…
to say!
very sincerely,
me
– my little mama aboard “pamela” on frisco’s bay (1948)
dear miss michelle,
thank you so much for yesterday…
for these…
and for asking…
that i not just share chocolates with you…but share chocolates with you…
that meant so much!
and, oh…those chocolates were all the more sweeter having had the chance to sit right next and share them with you!
very sincerely,
me
p.s.
as of this morning at breakfast…i have no more leftover chocolates left over…
– hannah’s image
dear miss elaini,
what a sweet birthday surprise…finding you at our door!
you…bearing chocolates!
and a sweet note…
after you left…i popped one of those chocolates right into my mouth…
and i just giggled…out loud…at the words on the back of the pouch…
that silly boy o’ mine reading with emphasis…
“do you dream in chocolate? then discover (chocolate’s name) and enjoy a moment that is yours: when you break (chocolate’s name’s) delicate chocolate shell, the irresistibly smooth filling starts to melt, gently caressing all your senses and taking you to a place where chocolate dreams come true.”
oh…my…goodness! could that really be true!?!
how i wish we would’ve read that while you were still here…so i could’ve shared that giggle with you!
and then i just smiled…at the words in your note…
such a sweet note…
what a truly sweet birthday it’s been…sweeter than any ol’ chocolate!
yes…it’s true! even chocolate!
so much love showered on me by so many!
and…oh, how i thank Him for that 40…plus another whole one…
and for chocolates…
and for loved ones…
like sweet little you!
very sincerely,
me
dear daddy,
thanks for taking me on a date last week…we haven’t done that in a too-long time!
i’m so glad we share a love of history…His story!
that movie about that great man left me thinking…and thinking…
about ordinary people…doing extraordinary things…
about the red and yellow, black and white…
about how He created…everyone…
and then today…on his birthday…the kids and i gathered ‘round and listened to dr. king speak…
about his dream for our nation…and his children…
about his four precious little people…him wanting the same for them that every daddy wants for theirs…
him standing there proclaiming it…within the shadow of that same great man…
and i just cried…because it truly is so very heavy…just to think…
that as he stood there “5 score years” later…when you were seventeen years old…this country was still such a horribly confused place…
that 2 score and 10 years later…and still…
that these two men lived their lives…and lost them…all for the sake of freedom!
i’m just so grateful for you…that you introduced me to the One who created…everything…
every…one…
so very grateful that He is creative…all of the colors of all of our skins displaying that!
so exceedingly grateful that He lived His life…and laid it down…all for the sake of our freedom!
what an awesome responsibility you had…what an awesome responsibility we have…
to introduce our littles to Him…
to introduce them to so many, many ordinary people…throughout all of time…all of His story…who did unbelievably extraordinary things…
what an awesome responsibility…to spur them on to do the same…
very sincerely,
me
– daddy reading to we three (circa 1975)
dear health-o-meter,
i admit…the holidays were nummy delicious…
but i just can’t imagine what i ever did to make you say such things to me…
i think you’re just plain lying…
i think you’re grossly exaggerating the truth!
and if it weren’t for all the sweet things you said to me last summer…
i think i’d up and just toss you away!
very sincerely,
me
dear s.j.,
i don’t know…
sometimes i worry that he just isn’t truly settling in…
very sincerely,
me
– hannah’s image
dear belly, bat wings and bum,
i think i found those inches we lost last summer at the bottom of the caramel corn jar…
what a relief that was!
very sincerely,
me
dear mr. taylor,
when we were all gathered…i listened closely for a word just for me…
i listened through our singing…
i listened through the teaching…
and then…you stood before us as we gathered ‘round His table…and you said…
“you hold in your hand the elements that represent
His perfect obedience and His perfect trust.
perfect obedience…perfect trust…
and because of His perfect obedience and His perfect trust…
we can obey imperfectly and trust imperfectly and it’s acceptable.
it’s acceptable…
it’s enough…
because of Christ’s work by giving His body and His blood…”
and there! there they were…
and i was ever-so grateful…so very, very grateful to hear those words…
words meant especially for a girl just like me…
very sincerely,
me
dear 20,
it truly doesn’t seem that long ago…
but i was only you when i first held so tight to him…
and i truly tried so hard not to…
but i must’ve blinked…
because just two short minutes into this day…my baby…became you!
and i’m just not liking it all that much…
and i just keep having these tears so much of the time…
very sincerely,
me