#1
out of the hodgepodge of mugs hanging up in that cupboard…
it isn’t this one…
or this one…
or even this…
but this one…
…he always picks!
Archive | April, 2013
dear monday,
sometimes…
i just can’t like you.
‘cause sometimes…
you’re just so too naughty to me!
and most times…by the eve of you…i’m just dreading my bedtime…
‘cause it means that the next thing i’ll be having to do…is wake up right into you!
so i think i’ll (sometimes) “put something where i can see it so my eyes can remind my heart”...
i’ll (sometimes) post right here on my blog…some mostly (sometimes) even silly…reasons to smile!
even on you, monday…
especially on you!
‘cause…truly…i may have to look a little harder on some days than others…
but i’m guessing…if i try even hardly at all…the more and more reasons i’ll find…a reason to smile!
very sincerely,
me
this little piggy went to market…
…‘cause he was all-at-once bustin’ outta his clothes!
– the kids’ camera – bits’ image (april 4, 2013)
dear gathering family,
wanna know one? just one of the many reasons why i love you?
‘cause every time i miss out on being there when you’re gathered…my family’s always sure to arrive back home after…my littles always bounding through the door…my honey always bringing up the rear…
them always all bubbling over with greetings…and well-wishes…and “we missed you’s”…
from so many of you!
“mama, elijah’s mom said to say “hi”!
and…“honey, mr. g. said to say that they love you…”
and even on that facebook…“missed seeing you today, sweet friend…”
and it just means so much…
because sometimes…like yesterday…i miss out ‘cause one (or a few) of our littles just feels too poorly…
or others…on account of this silly, oft-times-aching head…
but too-many-more times…many past gatherings over these past few years…i’ve just been struggling too much with this sadness…and just can’t seem to step out and get there…
and all those times…but especially those sad ones…your words meant so much!
‘cause when the last thing you think you can do is step outside that door…
to see people…and let them see you…
knowing they love you…
and them saying so…
is His using!
one of His means to speak…truth…
we are loved…beyond measure…by Him!
and He’s used you…and your words…to speak into my life so many, many times…
that very truth that i’ve so desperately needed to hear…and to hear…
He loves me!
and you!
and…oh…how i do too!
very sincerely,
me
to whom it may concern,
today marks one year! one whole year since i sat down and started putting words down here!
which also means…in not-too-many days from now…i’ll be having another birthday…
that 40…plus another whole one!
which makes me just want to eat chocolate…
though i’m not entirely sure why…
so i got to thinking about nummy chocolate…
and i got to remembering those nummy chocolates that the mama to the west’s mama spoiled us with one time…those amazing chukar cherry ones…
and i thought to my self, “self…you should get some of those nummy chocolates for you for your birthday! and, hey! self! wouldn’t it be so fun to get some extra…and share them…with all of the amazing people who came here and read…and encouraged…and prayed…and who literally made this whole last year such an incredibly memorable one!?!”
but then…my self realized…“that’s a whole bunch of chocolates!”
so…i guess…i’ll just have to content myself with sharing just some…
with just some…one…
but if you like nummy chocolates…and you’d like to share some…and you’d like to just jump on here and say “hi! happy whole first one!”…
then i’ll just be so excited to toss you into my hat…
and i’ll just be so happy to wrestle that littlest and plunge his fist in…
and i’ll just be so…truly…thrilled if he plucks out your one!
‘cause it’s been an amazing year…
a truly…filled-with-the-absolutely-unexpected…one!
and i just want to say “thank you”…to every last one of you…who’ve loved on me all this way through it…
this whole first one…
very sincerely,
me
– bits sharin’ chocolates with mama! (august, 2005)
my need of Him
i can’t be certain when it started creeping up on me…
i only know…that before i really knew it…being sad was an oftentimes overwhelming every day thing…
like these sometimes sneaky-wet, grey northwest skies in the spring…
the sun would here-and-there shine through unexpectedly…but before i’d have a chance to truly settle into it…more storm clouds would sneak right up on top of me…
and it left me faking…and hiding…and always so weary…
‘til finally…one morning-too-many i stood weeping in my shower…
and i just cried out to Him, “i’m just so tired of this!”
and He whispered back…just as He’s done two times before…“go find aletha.”
and then He brought her visiting our fellowship…the very next sunday…and i found her just standing there…
as if waiting for me…
and right there in the aisle, i just wept and choked out, “could we please meet?”
and on her sofa days later, i just begged, “please…just tell me. is this just more of being 40…just hormones…just what they call “midlife”? or am i just throwing some fit? am i simply sinning?”
and she was so dear to just listen to me…
and talk with me…
and ask…me…if we could “do this again” the following week…
and not just that next…but for weeks and weeks now…she’s poured herself into me…
and she’s prayed for me…
and she’s showed me where the hormones are raging…
and where the lies have been allowed to take hold…
and where i worry and fear and hold on to offenses…
and she’s laid her hands on my shoulders and showed me my sins…
and then gently turned me back ‘round towards Him…
and i marvel at His goodness towards me…
He heard my cry and He answered me!
and i owe her so much…and Him everything!
and as i’ve wrestled with this “being sad”…i’ve found myself asking…
“would i love You…if i didn’t need of You?”
and as the sun peaks through more…and lingers longer…
and as the clouds loom less and less…
i’m confident that it’s the always-in-need-of-Him…and His never-exhaustible grace towards me…that plunges me ever deeper and deeper in love!
and how blessed i am! for it’s my being sad…or my aching head…or my failings as his wife and their mama…or any number of reasons for my need of Him…that’s been the means of His never-exhaustible…simply unfathomable…grace towards me!
and in…that…i’m finding more and more every day…my every reason…for being glad…
oh, thank heaven…
– hannah’s image