:: eian still doesn’t want to be a superhero…
…even after i’ya showed him how fun it can be!
Tag Archives | very silly me
dear no shave november,
i was so enjoying you…and your giving me a legitimate excuse to just let it all grow!
until last night…
when i caved to societal pressure…this cultural liturgy…despite no one even being able to see me under the arms or even on the legs…
and i shaved those slates clean…
tragic…
but, not to worry…in addition to those hairs all eventually…inevitably…all growing back in…
i am now also growing out a beard!
apparently…
and to think…my silly honey tried to convince me that this is all just a “boy” thing!
very sincerely,
me
dear belly, bat wings and bum,
say…
how come i never have to get on bust’s case?
huh?!?
very sincerely,
me
to whom it may concern,
just another quick little question…
when your eyes start to blur a bit…at the words on a page…or the food on your plate…or the itty bitty pictures on those hand-held devices your kids hold up in front of your face…
how…exactly…do you shave your armpits?
i mean…all of those other things can be held back to (at least) your arm’s length!
but how are we supposed to see something we just can’t get any further away from our face?!?
do we just wear our glasses right into the shower?
i mean…wouldn’t they just fog right up and leave you right back where you started?
with a now-not-just-blurry-but-all-completely-fogged-up armpit?
i mean…hairs? how can i possibly see individual hairs when my whole armpit is blurry?!?
my attempt this last time was “patchy”…at best…
some all shaved off…some half-way through…and still some left entirely intact…
just taunting!
but i was only able to actually see this sad state of my pits after i’d already emerged from the shower…and shoved one right up close for inspection in the magnifying cosmetic mirror!
(oh, how i do hate this chore!)
so…
my dilema has just left me bewildered…and wondering…
if he’s (mostly) the one who appreciates my armpits all naked…
would it really be all that naughty…
if i was to just offer up my shaver…along with my patchy-hairy pits…to him?
yeah…maybe just a bit…
does any one have any wisdom to share?
‘cause this girl’s just this blurry close to once-and-for-all throwing out her shaver…and keeping her arms now-and-forever-down-at-her-sides pinned!
very sincerely,
me
p.s.
i did wage war on that whisker…and then it simply called in recruits!!!
dear mom,
so, this is day three of me on these head-meds…
and as you well know…it gets pretty interesting around here with my brain on these “drugs”…
this morning still in bed, i was telling my honey very important (to me) things…and relying on him to fill in the words my brain couldn’t land on with (for example) a simple…“it starts with a “p”…”
and then…for some unknown reason…when i hollered out…“fourteen!”…the number of the day from an old “sesame street”…he just rolled right out of our bed with a…“that’s the drugs talking!”
and so i laid there…all alone and pathetic…pondering all the funky things that i’ve done…but mostly said…while taking these things!
why, just yesterday…i was having to explain myself to a dear idaho friend…
about how this drugged brain had told me to wish her a “happy birthday!” on tuesday…so i just sat right down and started to write her a note. but then one small part of my brain (maybe one small sliver not all foggy) made me glance up at our calendar…and even lock on to the date. which nudged the rest of my brain even to question…“it’s april 30? gayle is a birthday-month buddy with me? but i thought her day was may 3rd?!?”
and then i still proceeded to write…and then send her…that note!
and the next morning, as we were still rubbing the blur from our eyes…j. said, “it’s may day!”
and i just shot straight up…“it’s may first! but i think i said “happy birthday” to gayle yesterday!”
and that’s when he said, “oh, honey…you can blame that on the drugs!”
and i told her about the time…after grampa richard had been in heaven for well over a year…i looked right at my father-in-law and asked, “how’s grampa doing?”
and when he just stared at me all-in-shock…i just looked over at j. in confusion…and he just said, “honey…your drugs…”
and…of course…i had to tell her the…classic…“this brain’s on drugs” time…
have i ever told you?
about how…that time 4 years ago now…when niecy and i were looking through pictures of little you still living in frisco. and she was telling me all that she knew about how sick you were so often your whole first four years…
and we were especially drawn to that sad little picture of you turning three…
6-year-old auntie standing next to you lying in bed under covers…all utterly rosy-cheeked with fever…so frail with pneumonia…your little birthday cake perched right on your lap…the three candles still smoking from having been (probably with auntie’s help) just blown out…
such a sad little picture of sweet little you!
and i was so engrossed in her stories…so utterly mesmerized by that photo…that i just looked at her and asked…
“did she survive?”
and she just looked at me…
and said…
“our mother?”
oh my…
but i’m so glad that you did! survive…
and i know i will too! this pain will subside…
it always…eventually…does!
and in the mean time…these drugs sure do help me to cope!
but i think i might just stick to myself today…just to be safe!
this brain…on these drugs…just can not be trusted!
there’s just absolutely no telling what else it might make me to do…
or heaven help me…
to say!
very sincerely,
me
– my little mama aboard “pamela” on frisco’s bay (1948)
dear belly, bat wings and bum,
just because i only lasted two stinkin’ days…then proceeded to do a full-on face plant right off o’ that wagon…with somethin’ of mine gettin’ stuck in it’s wheel…and it draggin’ me along right behind through the mud…
and just because my honey insists that he loves you…and all of my other parts…just the way that you (all) are…
doesn’t mean this is over!
this is so not over…
just you wait!
right after i finish off those birthday chocolates…
and get that treat i sometimes (always) get after i’ve amassed all of those groceries…
and…well…that soda i’ll probably have with my birthday pizza tonight…
oh…and that taco bell grammy insists on bringin’ for all of our lunches tomorrow…
and…probably…that dessert i have planned for our company after our gathering on sunday…
so…like…
monday!
yes!
probably…monday!
it’s…so…back…on!
just…you…wait!
very sincerely,
me
p.s.
wait…
on second thought…
dear hannah,
this morning…while we were working through those lessons…i needed to remind you…
that every sentence should always start with a capital…and always end with a period…
“so that your reader doesn’t get confused at what you’re trying to say…”
and i gestured “for example” as i turned towards this blog…
“like my blog…” i began…my eyes locking…right on to it…
and…oh…my…
and i turned back all sheepish…
and we two just giggled!
and then…“never mind…bad example…”
and…aren’t i though!
very sincerely,
me (your always-with-the-“do-as-i-say-and-not-as-i-do” mama)
– summer, 2002
dear health-o-meter,
i admit…the holidays were nummy delicious…
but i just can’t imagine what i ever did to make you say such things to me…
i think you’re just plain lying…
i think you’re grossly exaggerating the truth!
and if it weren’t for all the sweet things you said to me last summer…
i think i’d up and just toss you away!
very sincerely,
me
:: the bestest time to sneak a handful of m&m’s and wash ’em down with a swig right outta the milk jug…before eating my dinners…is when the biggest brother has everyone watching a movie down in his room…